Derpy days

A bit of fast forwarding, as it just keeps going and we ge just a bit derpier.

Missoula: Johnny Carino's massive Bellini smoothies, camping essentially in people's backyards, Cracker Barrell morning. Numerous photos of Cracker Barrell, and epic descriptions of dumplings. Early morning departure in an effort to reach Portland by nightfall.

Three hours in the car later, we realize we're heading towards Salt Lake City. NOT the plan. Discover the GPS is taking us to Portland, CO as opposed to OR. Reroute. Reroute. Many hours of rolling hills later we enter Idaho, land of more rolling hills. Due to our massive detour, realize we are headed to Boise, home of the most Western Cracker Barrell north of the Mason Dixie line. Decide to enjoy another fine dining experience. Once again enjoy the marvelous sides. Feel just a little more embarrassed about our life choices.

On the road again. Car seems to be pulling and making horrible noises when we turn. Night has fallen. All is dark. There appear to be pigs on the side of the road although this seems unlikely. Cannot discern scenery. Only lights are from glittering factory. We must assume we've reached the North Pole and are following the Polar Express. We stop in Pendelton so as to fix our car.

Find a tiny bed and breakfast hotel that's still open. Are told that it will be impossible to find an auto shop and even tomorrow they'll all be closed because, according to the concierge, Pendelton is a tiny town in the middle of nowhere with nothing to offer. Feelings of defeat.

Wake up. Enjoy the continental breakfast. Learn from the AM concierge that there IS in fact an auto shop that opens at 9. Watch the Spanish version of Dora the Explorer. Acknowledge that I am woefully unprepared to converse even at child level. Pull into the auto shop. They have diagnosed the problem even before we are out of the vehicle. Three hours, $250, and another seething review of Pendelton later and we are in possession of a new CV joint, Babysitter's Club Road Trip Super Special, and some confusion as to why these people hate Pendelton so much when it has so much to offer in the range of books and diners and car parts. Our standards for enteratinment have clearly decreased.

Drive on drive on. No more pulling or horrible noises. Family diners are all filled with ridiculous books on subjects such as "How to Deal with Stupid People" and "How to Deal with Ornery People." Perhaps a local author? Unfortunately, I am no bettr able to deal with stupid or ornery people after reading, and I feel secure that this is because the author is both stupid and ornery.

Reach Portland mid-afternoon after our first and only meal at McDonalds and head straight to the home of Michael Mannheimer. Pick up Mann-friend Nick Johnson and head to the coast. Reach Cannon Beach at dusk and begin the hike to the campsite. 1.5 miles up hill carrying tents and food and clothes is sweaty work but the rewards are fantastic: Carly, Katy, and Bree. Mid-West meets West. Campfire flames dance. Marshmallows roast. All is well on the Western front. Carly, Katy, and Bre all head to bed earl in their gigantic mansion tent. The rest of us stay up a while longer before heading to bed in my tiny shack tent. We sleep restlessly, hair damp with PBR, elbows in stomachs and feel atangle, until about 2am, when we are awoken by Nick SCREAMING. I scream, too, as he tells us that someone is outside trying to get us. Soon we realize, however, that noone is outside and Nick is suffering from sleep paralysis/a nightmare. We calm down, mostly (Nick is concerned by the bad vibes from the campsite...) and relax by thinking about egg sandwiches, starship escapes, and the future of our friend's relationship. The sun rises, as do we. We say our goodbyes, feast on peanut butter and Cheerios, and head inland.

Back in Portland we split, and Becca and I are bewildered by city life. So many choices and odd people making specific, vegan demands while wearing real clothes. It's hardly what we're used to at this point. I love Portland, but after so long in the middle of nowhere, it feels fuzzy and wrong. We skip town and head towards the majestic redwoods.

Such big trees. So many mysteries, none so great as to why Mimi thinks the mystery spot is so badass. The rest of the forest is pretty tight, and does not cost $14. So we skip the carvings and enjoy the rest, including Lady Bird Johnson's dedicated nursery. The trees are tall. We feel small. It's true. Onwards.

We camp just outside the parks and then head to Humboldt. Good times with Mimi. Remember being a freshman. See the hippies. Eat sushi. Watch a movie. Finally stay in a Kozy Kabin at the KOA. Very cute and so nicely heated. It's the little things...

Depart and hit the road for the last time. Stop at Confusion Hill and Bigfoot's spot. Enter a gravity house where it's impossible to stand without hand help and water flows upwards. So warpy!

Reach Berkeley in time for a delicios home cooked dinner.

Since then we've been loafing about, doing laundry, etc. We did head to Calistoga, right by Napa, for a spa day. They made me get naked in front of an attendent and another spa goer, which I was not anticipating. Def. didn't do sports growing up, so kind of uncomfortable, but oh well. Ate a Cobb salad, my lunch of choice for relaxing, and swam in the naturally heated giant pool. Not too shabby.

Last night we booked a hostel for san Jose, so we have a place to stay near the airport when we arrive. We leave so soon! So many more errands to tackle.

Happy birthday Dad and Kate!!!